This am rant

testing

I don't cook. I work, I come home, I'm tired...just fill-in-the-platitude.. but there are other reasons: I am paralyzed by the bombardment of BAD NEWS about what we eat; veggies are just pesticides-disguised-as-food. Then I knock on 'organics' door and I am told that I am at the wrong address and need to go to 'certified organic's'. 'Certified';the' Tom Ford' of the veggie-set and I realize, ' I could buy a Gucci COAT for the price of this burdock root'. So, what about a nice pasta (when you're Jewish, 'nice' must preceed all nouns) then I realize how bloated we will all be from carbs. How about steak? Then suddenly PETA people are pressed up against my window with ketchup all over them. (those who know me, know that I have a deep-seated FEAR of ketchup.) So, no steak for us! How abut a veggie burger? No, Jackson takes one bite of those and looks at me as if I've given him wet cement....fish? nope! Mercury. Spinach?! nope. E-coli. Cashews?! nope. The cashew union workers are on strike! Cheese?! nope.. might as well eat a spoon-full of cellulite. ok, how about water?! Nope. That five-dollar bottle of water with the Swedish name is just tap water filled with carcinogens...and by the way, the plastic is too. I call my office which doubles as a Dominoes Pizza and ask for 'thin crust'. 'We sold out of thin crust' they say.